FINALLY GETTING THE TRUTH
I was four years old in February of 1991. My birth father left before my mother ever knew she was pregnant. Due to circumstances she decided not to tell him.
When my biological father was living in California it didn't take long until he had gotten another woman pregnant and he fled back to Arkansas only to hear rumors how my mother had a child and it was his. He finally asked my mother and she told him yes and explained the situation.
SOMETIMES THINGS DON'T WORK
They tried to work it out but due to my father's drinking problem and another woman, he left my mother having nothing to do with me. At about 10 months of age my future adoptive father came into the picture and he instantly had a connection with me.
He would date my mom for 5 years before they wed. In this time my birth father had DNA tests done and everything and just simply refused to pay any child support. He also was sued by the mother of his child in California and lost all parental rights as well as had to pay a large sum. He also had a child with his new wife then. I was taken to my birth grandmother some as she loved to see me.
BETWEEN TWO DIFFERENT FATHERS
When my future adoptive father and mother wed he told her of his interest in adopting me as his since he was the only father figure I had ever known and after heated debates they agreed with my biological father to drop all the owed child support for him to give up his parental rights and pay for an adoption process.
He agreed. I was told at this point that my adoptive father was not my actually biological father and I became distraught. I was taken to doctors and such because of the mental instability this caused me. The doctor explained after a while that I had put a mental block on the event and it was quite common for a child to mentally block a traumatic experience as if it never happened.
They were told to never bring this up to me unless I did no matter what. My parents were worried that I had been harmed mentally from the events but it didn't happen.
My biological father informed his entire family to stay away from me or he would disown them, including my grandmother. When I was 10 my aunt made a comment about my father taking me in and how good he was to do so and this made me question it but for the next 21 years, that was the only thing that was ever said. I had a brother I went to school with a couple years younger who knew I was his sibling but I did not know he was mine.
IN THE LATER ADULT YEARS
I got married at 25 and my wife had made a few comments about me not looking like my father and this brought back the thoughts I had from my aunt's comment when I was 10. I pondered on this for a year and researched what I could. I noticed there were no baby pictures of me and my father or grandparents but there was of my mom and her parents. I kept this to myself until I finally asked my aunt about it. She told me I was adopted by my father at 5 but she would not give me details, she told me to talk to my mother.
I became angry, not knowing I was told before. I believed I had been lied to my entire life. I work on the river and I'm gone 4 weeks at a time and it just so happened I discovered this at the beginning of my trip so I asked around to people who apparently knew and started to piece together the puzzle. I came home and spent another week trying to find a way to talk to her. I finally did and she told me the entire story.
FINDING OUT THE REALITY AND TRUTH
I was told of a few biological family members who went behind my bio fathers back and kept up with me my entire life. I have since made contact with a couple family members. I have a stronger relationship than ever with my mother and father. I'm glad things happened the way they did. I am truly the luckiest adopted man ever.