ON THE WAY TO MY ULTIMATE PERSONAL
Parenthood is the most selfless act a person can accomplish on this earth. They sacrifice themselves for their child, and their child is always first, no excuses, no matter what. You know when a person was nurtured, loved and given everything their parent could give just by having a conversation with them. Don’t get me wrong, and I’ll be very clear on where I stand on this- there ARE people that should be allowed to adopt children. There are people that do adopt for the right reasons, and that is to 110% love and nurture the child for the child's sake.
When an adopter is allowed to adopt a child for their own selfish reasons, and adopts that child in vain, beginning the child’s life off with how they came to have the child in their household in the first place, has already screwed up. Not only has the adopter completely destroyed what was rightfully the child and his/her real parents undying love and connection with each other, they have selfishly brought that child in their household, all to appease to their own psychopathy of thinking that a person can be selfish and destroy other people’s lives as long as you are getting what you want for yourself. Not only this, but this selfish adopter ‘parent’ has done it at the exact expense of the child, and where the child came from.
ATTENTION BARON | INFERTILE WOMEN WHO ADOPT
Yes, I’m talking to all of you. In no way-shape-or-form is it ever okay to destroy a real mother and her child’s relationship all so you can have a baby. If you weren’t built to give birth to a child, take note of that. You need to work on yourself, look within and realize that there is a problem with you, and go seek some therapy. If you have an insatiable want and need to adopt a child after you have found out that you are unable to give birth because your body wasn’t built to do so, your next step should be seeking out some intense treatment & therapy to find out why you have these problems within yourself.
Being baron & infertile does not make you entitled to another Woman’s child. The reason you were able to get away with such disgusting behavioral patterns, is because the private domestic infant adoption industry has such low standards on who is allowed to adopt a child. Not because ‘you’ll make such a great mommy’, or because you decided you had enough money to ‘get a child’.
What you do NOT do. You do not bring a helpless, voiceless child into your psychopathy at the child and his/her real parents expense to ‘solve your problems’. That is using other human beings and destroying lives so that you can play pretend ‘mother’. Who would want to live that way? You have already screwed up. You have already started out that child’s life on a complete lie, and you will have to continue that lie by pretending like you were doing the child a favor. You know the truth, you just choose to ignore it all while you are completely traumatizing the child that you adopted. That is wrong of you.
WHERE NARCISSISM & PSYCHOPATHY OF ADOPTERS COME INTO PLAY
The laws need to change. I will say it, and speak my mind whether it makes people uncomfortable or not. I am the victim of hidden abuse, I was adopted by a malignant baron narcissist. I feel like the word ‘narcissist’ tends to be sensationalized now of days in the mainstream. What narcissism is is actually an extremely severe and dangerous disorder. When a narcissist is allowed to raise a child, that child is going to suffer extreme psychological and emotional abuse.
I know, I’m an expert on it. Yes, I said it, I am an expert on it. I suffered being adopted by a narcissist. It was a horrific childhood, ridden with my having to pretend that what was happening to me wasn’t, because it was my responsibility to make the outside world think that the narcissist that adopted me was this amazing ‘mother’. When in all actuality, this person was mentally ill, was allowed to literally pay money to adopt her victim, and was able to be as entitled about it as she wanted.
MY ONE AND ONLY CHILD HAS BEEN ADOPTED IN VAIN
Due to the 3+ decades I was brainwashed into thinking that the abuse I endured at the hands of the people that adopted me, I was severely traumatized by it. I have never known anything aside from constantly being lied to, confused, abused, and constantly having my boundaries violated. My life has been filled with constant fear and stress due to the people that adopted me. I didn’t realize what had actually happened to me until I was 33 years old, when I became pregnant with my Son. I had blocked it all out unknowingly. This tends to happen when you have to protect yourself, and your body and brain go into over-drive to stay guarded and safe.
As a Mother, your instinct to protect your child at any cost is front and center whether you realize it or not. I realized it, and needed my unborn child to be safe. The couldn't have him live in that kind of abusive environment. I knew that it was time to completely cut off contact with the abusers who adopted me for my child’s sake. These adopters wouldn’t take no for an answer. They started showing up at my home, surpassing security pounding on my apartment door. I was alone with my child, and completely terrified for his safety and welfare.
My job was fine, had my own place, I've always been independent. It was never about anything to do with monetary problems, or whether or not I could raise my child and be a great Mother to him. It was all about keeping him safe, and away from the abusers that adopted me who wouldn’t leave me alone. I literally had no support system to help me. I tried several times to reach out to my extended adopted ‘family’. I was met with indifference, coldness, and excuses- all to share what was continually happening to me, and questioned and told I was 'over-reacting' again.
There was one specific instance, when I was 8 ½ months pregnant with my child, and the adopter abusers came pounding on my door, I had called an adoptive uncle and his wife, (as they told me to call them if I needed help). I was raised to think it was wrong to ask for help. That's been engrained in me my whole life. I now know how ridiculous that is, because when a person genuinely loves you, supports you and is your family, you shouldn't even have to ask- they will already be there no questions asked, no explanation needed. I had asked them repeatedly on the phone to tell these people to leave me alone, and very clearly expressed my fear for my child's and my own safety and welfare. What did this adoptive uncle do? All he had to have done was make a phone call to his brother and tell him to STOP, to leave me alone. Instead? This ‘uncle’ proceeded to tell me, within that hour-ish phone conversation of him questioning and accusing me of ‘overreacting’. He continually questioned an 8 ½ month pregnant woman, well knowing she was in need of help, regardless of the fact that she could barely breath, was having a panic attack, was in severe pain, extremely worried about her unborn child's welfare, while she repeatedly said, 'I can't breathe, as she held onto a wall to stay standing.
But I was just ‘overreacting’ now wasn’t I? Aparently the shock and trauma that caused me, and the severe pain I was in, and my worry for my unborn child in my womb at 8 1/2 months pregnant wasn't enough for these people that called themselves my 'family'. I mean, how dare I be traumatized already by what these abusers did to me my whole life, all to come out of the fog, try to get away from the situation, then try to live my own life for myself and my Son, and not accept that the people that adopted and abused me my whole life, and CHOSE to do so, wouldn’t leave me alone. But me, at 8 ½ months pregnant was just supposed to suck-it-up, and ‘explain myself’ yet again. That was the day that I knew that man who was supposedly my uncle and godfather wasn’t my actual family. Real family wouldn’t dare do such a thing. That was the day I knew those people had nothing to offer me, nor did they want to offer anything to come to my aid. What they did do, was let me know that if I called them, they would answer the phone. And for some reason, I was made to feel ‘thankful’, and almost guilty about this, the fact that they were throwing me these measly crumbs of support by telling me how I was 'over-reacting' when I would tell them about the things that happened to me when I was younger. It actually got to the point that when I was on the phone with my adoptive aunt, she told me that I was 'making things difficult for my uncle and his brother- the man who claimed to be my father. Again, I will say it, 'I mean... how dare I, right?'
TRYING TO SEEK PROPER SUPPORT AND AID FOR MYSELF AND MY SON
It was very clear, that I did not have a proper support system in this so called ‘family’ that I was apparently supposed to be so thankful for. I was told things like, ‘we didn’t want to bother you’, and ‘we know you like your privacy’, 'I'm proud of you for placing him for adoption (said the abusive narcissist 'mother' that adopted me). It was all excuses excuses excuses, bullshit bullshit bullshit. This is not enough. I was yet again, greatly let down and disappointed. It was one thing when these people had absolutely no problems with gaining my personal information all to discuss and exploit me among-st each other, further condoning the abuse. It was another thing when they brought my unborn child into it.
Did I ever get a proper and genuine apology for the re-traumatization from these people? Of course not. They knew I was in need of aid and support, they chose to do nothing about it. It was constant excuses, it was ‘I was busy buying a new home and moving’, it was ‘we were busy working’. This all while I was left to try to fend for myself to try to keep my Son safe and away from these abusive people that adopted me. I was told that I was 'making things hard on my grandmother'. Again, how dare-I try to stop the abuse happening, that was inconveniencing and making other people uncomfortable now, right?
I PLACED MY SON IN THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT I WANTED FOR HIM
My Son is now in the hands of psychologically unhealthy people. I literally didn’t know what to do. I had no one. I didn’t know how to keep my Son safe, and towards the last 2 ½ weeks of my preparing to bring my Son into this world, and ensure his future and well being, I met a glorified fraudulent baby broker who posed as, and introduced herself as a certified, licensed ‘pregnancy therapist’.
After investigation and research, I now know that this was a complete bold faced lie.
Because I was on my own, I had hired a birthing doula to aid me in preparing my birthing plan and to help me give birth to my Son. I carried my child with me that whole time, and I was getting ready to ensure his future. We had made it okay, my Son was healthy, although my pregnancy was extremely nerve-wracking and stressful as I carried my Son on my own those 9 months, all I cared about was that my Son was happy and healthy. I would've thrown myself in front of a train if I had to for my child. And I still will until I leave this earth. That is my child, my flesh and blood. This birthing doula recommended that I contact this woman who was a ‘pregnancy therapist’. It turns out, this is a glorified fraudulent baby broker, who is actually advertising herself and her 'business' as a pregnancy resource center- separating vulnerable Mothers seeking aid to ensure their children's futures and welfare, all to be completely coerced into placing their children for adoption. Not only does this fraudulent person named Tara Lee have NO proper licensing to practice as a therapist to pregnant Woman in need, she is directly profiting on violating, manipulating Women by separating them and their children at infancy…. (I’m talking straight from the hospital), and once the child is out of their real Mother's hands, this Tara Lee completely ghosts. Real professional right? Real truthful in advertising and professionalism and advocating children's futures?
BEING COERCED AND PRESSURED INTO A FAST TRACK ADOPTION
I trusted this Tara Lee person as what I thought was a licensed professional, giving her all of my personal information, my information about my own abuse and my own adoption, my insatiable need to keep my Son safe from the abusive people that adopted me. What did this person do? She took my inventory, manipulated a vulnerable 8 ½ month pregnant woman into thinking she was a trusted professional, all to pull a ‘fast-track adoption’. Now looking back on it, I realize- when she would cut me off when I would talk about my own adoption, and how this was effecting my decisions for my Son, why she would abruptly say to me, "Yes, but what does your past have to do with your Sons adoption NOW?" EVERYTHING, it has EVERYTHING to do with it.
This fraudulent adoption worker got an 8 ½ month pregnant Woman with no other support to trust her, this Tara Lee secured this Woman's infant child, made a profit off of this child's adoption to give the child to these adopters, where the adoptive ‘mother’ was baron, and who’s whole story and 'claim to fame' to make people pity her, and think they were entitled to adopt a child was ‘We tried for 6 years to have a child’. It was a constant- I was constantly told that this Tara Lee person was ‘my main go-to support person’, It was a constant that I was told that she was going to be there every step of the way. It was a constant that I was told I would be receiving proper post adoption therapy. I was constantly told I could relax, because I had the support that I needed to ensure my child's safety and future. I couldn't have been lied to more, I couldn't have been wronged in a more violating way.
WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED AND HOW MY SON WAS ADOPTED
2 days after I gave birth to my child just shy of 47 hours after.... I hadn’t slept properly in days due to having these 'hopeful adoptive parents in my hospital room constantly, just went through 12 hours of labor, was heavily medicated because of it, was alone, confused, had these adoptive ‘parents’ in my hospital room where this adoptive ‘Mother’ held my child literally each minute that they were there, hadn't eaten an actual meal of more than 5 bites of food in 3 days. The doula, where did she go? She definitely wasn’t there like she should’ve been. She did a marvelous job of making sure my Son was born, she sure didn’t ensure my well being for more than a couple of hours after I gave birth. These adoptive ‘parent’s’ that were supposed to be giving my Son a ‘better life’ didn’t even leave my hospital room when I took a shower. The only time these adoptive ‘parents’ of my child would leave my hospital room was for about 4 hours at about 2-3am to go back to their hotel room to sleep, and they were right back in my hospital room, disregarding my well being, health, the fact that I needed to sleep, and the fact that I had no proper bonding time with my Son. Looking back, it felt like I had just handed off a football to this person, and she ran with it. WRONG, that was my Son. It literally creeps me out thinking about this lady's reaction and the way she was holding my Son in such an entitled way while I sat in a bed next to the chair she sat in, in complete pain and disarray and complete hypervigelance. Absolutely no empathy at all what-so ever from these people, and that's the first sign that on should look for in a narcissist- false emotion. SHOULD'VE BEEN A RED FLAG TO ME, however I had no power or where-withal to realize what was happening. Everything was, 'hurry up and get this done'.
46 hours after I gave birth to my Son, this fraudulent baby broker Tara Lee, the adoptive ‘parents’ 2 lawyers, and a social worker approached my bedside. They were loud, forceful, and coercive. They presented me with paperwork. When I asked that my lawyer be present, I was told she was ‘on vacation’. How convenient, right? Surprisingly, this lawyer that was supposed to be representing me magically was ‘back in town’, at the adoptive ‘parents’ lawyers office the very next day, ready to present me with further adoption paperwork. This was only 3 days after I gave birth to my child. I hadn’t even been back at my home from the hospital for more than 24 hours, before these people had me get in an uber, and have me travel over an hour to this office to sign paperwork for my Son’s adoption. Because I had no idea what I was signing, and being told to 'hurry up and sign my initials and make sure to include my middle name on every one of the signatures I wrote', I realized after the fact that they had me sign a document WAIVING MY RIGHT TO POST ADOPTION THERAPY. All-the-while, this Tara Lee, who claimed to be a licensed practicing therapist, qualified, etc, was telling me on the constant that she guaranteed me that I would be receiving post adoption therapy to work through the grieving and loss of my Son. LIES LIES LIES>
Yes, I know what many of you are thinking, "Oh here we go again", the 'poor birth mother is playing victim'. Here we go again, another 'sob story about how a birth mother lost her child'. Ya, you can think that all you want, all you are doing is perpetuating further abuse on a person that was used, manipulated and violated- you are perpetuating further abuse onto someone that was completely used in this way. Until you've lived it, I don't want to hear your questioning or reasoning, period, point blank.
IN THE MIDST OF THE 2 ½ WEEK COERCION
I had 2 ‘therapy sessions’ via telephone call with this fraudulent Tara Lee person, where she was able to gain all of my personal information. This person was very well aware of how terrified I was of the abusers that adopted me that wouldn’t leave me alone. What did she do with this information? She used it against me. She well knew I had all the resources to Mother my child in every way possible, she chose to separate a mother and her child when she knew how much influence she had over the situation in this fast-track-adoption. I now know that my child was nothing more than a price tag to this predator. This person clearly did not have my infant unborn child’s best interest at heart. This Woman was ready to give adopters who already had a child another child. The scariest part of it all, this Tara Lee actively seeks out vulnerable Woman in need, claiming to be 'aiding' them, when in all actuality, she is doing the exact opposite. This fraudulent adoption worker is literally creating future trauma in adoptive children's lives at the hands of her own chosen actions. This is why this person is being criminally investigated as we speak. That doesn't 'just happen' if a person has done right by a child and their real mother. This only happens with a person has unethically, and fraudulently preyed on innocent children to turn a profit.
I met this Tara Lee at a local coffee shop. When I got there, she had ‘potential hopeful adoptive family’ profile books waiting for me. I felt like the world was spinning. I literally thought at the time, it was the only option to keep my Son safe from the abusers that adopted me. I'm talking, if you only knew how convincing this lady was in her coercion. The atmosphere was filled with ‘you need to do this for your Son’ if you want him to have a better future.
WRONG. My Son is now in the hands of people that are exactly like the abusive people that adopted me. I looked through these profiles. This Tara Lee made a point to let me know that she was going to be with me ‘every step of the way’ looking at these potential hopeful adoptive families. I now realize, that wasn't this lady's support, that was this lady's manipulative and calculated way to control my choices, AGAIN. When I got to this Otto and brandis, there was something ‘off’ I felt, and I immediately said no to these people. I immediately crossed them off of the list.
This fraudulent worker Tara Lee was adamant in convincing me that ‘these were the ones’. This is the family for your August. Tara Lee then went into this whole sob story about how this brandis lady had tried 6 years to have a child of her own. I now realize how the time-frame of meeting this person, that the pressure I was under, and the people I was surrounded with was completely coercive and violating to myself and my Son in every way possible. At the time, I literally actually thought that these people wanted what I wanted, the absolute best for my Son's future. I couldn't have been more wrong. These people completely violated my undying love and need for protecting my Sons’ future and well being. They used my own adoption abuse and experience against me in the absolute worst way possible, and they used it by putting a price-tag on my Sons head.
The worst part of this whole thing, this lady, Tara Lee to this day is parading herself around in the public eye to be running a ‘pregnancy center’ with her advertising, claiming to help pregnant Woman in need by posing herself as a pregnancy resource center. Promising these Woman the complete opposite of what they are actually getting. She is leaving these Woman in the dust once she’s made her dime off of flipping their children for adoption and not delivering on the guarantee of the proper post adoption therapy she guarantees these Women, as she has absolutely NO qualifications, or proper education to make the guarantees and advertise in such a manner aside from a certificate from the University of Phoenix. (Stay tuned for this persons public school transcripts)
NOT EVERYONE IN THIS WORLD IS A GOOD PERSON
As many of you reading this who are first/natural Mothers, adoptees, etc- you will know that this fraudulent adoption worker Tara Lee is not special. Sadly, and quite horrifyingly, there are many out there just like this person. This person preys on these pregnant Woman in need, posing herself to be providing one thing, when she is delivering the complete opposite, all to completely sever a mother and her child, and is creating future trauma for these children.
When I informed this Tara Lee that I didn’t want her in the room when I gave birth, and she was perplexed and surprised and didn't understand why, stating that ‘she is always in the room when her ‘momma’s deliver’, it all makes sense to me now. This scary person literally wants complete and total control over what these vulnerable Woman will be deciding for their child. She wants to ensure that she is getting her paycheck and that the Mother will not change her mind on the adoption. This person will do anything and everything to manipulate the Woman into making the decision of adoption for their child. That is a very scary person who will go to such great lengths to completely violate another human being and their child in this manner.
PSYCHOPATHS COME IN ALL SHAPES AND SIZES IN SOCIETY
If you were to meet and see this Tara Lee person, you would think that she was just your typical run-of the mill lady. In all actuality, this is a predator. This person is literally and actively a predator of pregnant Women who only want what’s best for their unborn child. This fraudulent adoption worker has found all of the loop-holes to skate through the proper channels needed to take in order to ensure a child's future welfare to appease to these adopters paying money for a baby. Once she has these Women’s children in the hands of these adopters, she leaves the Woman scared for her child, and ghosts on them with no proper me-diary channel for their questions to be answered, and no proper channel or information to ensure that the Mother can ensure her child's welfare and safety.
This Tara Lee person has adopted 2 children. This scares me for those children’s emotional and psychological well being and safety. This Tara Lee is busy flying to New York, Florida, preying on these pregnant woman, flipping their children for adoption, all to move on to the next one. All while she is busy doing this, she is publicly posting about how sad she is that she can’t be home for her 4 children (2 natural and 2 adopted). Not only is this Woman victimizing herself, and making herself look like the poor doting mother who is ‘so busy’, and allowing people to praise her for the ‘amazing work that she does’, but she is victimizing her own children right along with these women and children she is violating in the process of it.
Social Psychopathy tends to be very present in the private infant adoption industry. As these predators like this Tara Lee see an open opportunity to prey on these pregnant women as ‘easy targets’. This is a massive problem. Not only is this wrecking the child she is flipping for adoption's chance at a 'better life', she is placing these children directly in the hands of many undeserving people.
I will say right now- in no-way-shape or form is my child in the position for a 'better life'. He is now left severed from his own biology, and in the hands of people who lied, used, and violated a Woman to get him into their house-hold in vain. That is not love, that is not putting my child first. That is purely using other human beings for your own gain, and that is wrong.
THE PEOPLE THAT ADOPTED MY SON IN VAIN
When I speak of psychopathy in the adoption industry. A person can in no way shape or form be of right mind, nor be prepared to parent and adopt a child if they behave and have the thinking that they are entitled to that infant child's life in a way of ownership. People are not possessions, my Son is not a possession.
In mine and my Son’s specific case, I have been left traumatized, unable to properly grieve the loss of my Son due to the complete terror I feel knowing that my Son is in the hands and home of people that lied to me, called me things like, ‘asshole’, referred to me as a ‘birthing mechanism’ when I questioned the validity of this fast-track adoption. Then I came to find out who these people really are. These otto and brandis people did an impeccable job of being on their best behavior for about 3 weeks, until they had my child in their hands. That’s when it all went very badly, and these people’s real, true selves came out. When I began to question the validity, professionalism of what was happening with this fraudulent adoption worker Tara Lee, this apparent loving doting adoptive ‘mother’ brandis’ tune changed very quickly.
Instead of having a proper conversation about what should have been discussed, I was met with an agitated, cold and calculating person. I was met with a person's clear and transparent lack of empathy for another human being, and I was met with complete indifference for the suffering of another human being.
The second I wasn't glorifying this lady, the second I had realized what they had done to myself and my Son, the second I questioned what really happened and asked for the truth, that's when the reality of who these people really are came to light. With a narcissist, this is what happens, once they get what they want, the 'love-bombing' stage is over. These people immediately went on attack-mode.
EXPLORING THESE ADOPTERS ACTUAL HISTORY
After all was said and done, and I finally realized what had actually happened to myself and my Son, I then had many questions for and about this fraudulent adoption worker Tara Lee. That is when this Tara Lee blocked me out, and went through the devalue and discard stage. When I questioned the strange flip in behavior of these adoptive ‘parents’ otto and brandis, and how terrible their behavior was towards me, the names they were calling me, etc. this fraudulent worker Tara Lee told me she would take care of it and correct the problem.
What actually ended up happening? No, it did not. Tara Lee then blocked my number, blocked me from all social media, as well as these adoptive ‘parents’ otto and brandis doing the same. Not only did these people swear up and down, guarantee me that I would be openly involved in my Sons life, would be seeing him, visiting him, getting pictures, and more on a frequent basis- the fraudulent Tara Lee swore up and down that I would be having these regular ‘therapy’ sessions with her for aiding in properly dealing with the loss of my Son. None of this happened.
Narcissists make promises, but regularly do not keep them, as long as they get what they want. And these people got my Son in their hands.
The attorney that was hired to represent me, again had no answers for me. Let’s just say that this attorney, who was referred by the adopters attorneys, knew how to play, “Ugh, I’m not sure” very well. When I would ask her very pertinent questions about what was happening, she would tell me things like, “I’m not sure, I just handle the paperwork”. So where was I supposed to turn for answers? How was I supposed to ensure my Sons well being?
A DIVORCEE WITH A CHILD FROM A PREVIOUS MARRIAGE, & WIFE #2
When I state that a person can never be in their right mind, especially if they already have a child, lied about the child’s existence to a pregnant woman all to be able to adopt that womans child, these are THOSE kind of people. This adopter, otto was married, had a daughter with his previous wife. He then remarried this brandis person. When otto’s child was about 2-3 years old, otto and brandis started to try to have a child of their own and found out that brandis is baron, and her body isn’t equipt to give birth to a child. That should've been a hint to them.
It’s just so sad that this brandis woman couldn’t get over her clear issues with her own inadequacy and insecurity. I mean, the woman was wife #2, baron, and a stepmother. How sickening is it that this woman let this inadequacy of not feeling able to measure up overcome her enough to completely violate and use other people to try to appear as though she measured up. Did whatever she had to to get a baby. Sad & wrong to do. Big no no. Real humans do not do things like this to each other.
My question is, why didn’t this brandis, who was a step mother to a young toddler already, instead of needing to have a baby of her own, love and nurture the child that she already had? If I would’ve known about this, and been made aware of it instead of lied to, boy would this outcome have been different. Of course, these people fluffed up that story, and made sure to keep that under wraps. This otto and brandis’ whole claim to fame in why they were entitled to adopt a child was because they ‘worked for 6 years to have a baby’. What kind of message is that sending the child they already have? What kind of message is that sending me about their capability to parent my child? What kind of message is that sending my Son? Not a good message, that's for sure- but an absolutely real one. As these people's past and history tells me a lot about them and how they will treat my Son.
This is not psychologically healthy, that this brandis didn’t get proper therapy, and work on herself and her own issues of inadequacy. Instead, this lady found it necessary, and more important to completely violate a woman who was 8 ½ months pregnant, well knowing the pregnant woman's situation, and undying love for her child, decided to disregard it, be dishonest and go to any length necessary to get that woman's child from her. In the process, was completely inauthentic, and had zero empathy for the fact that she has already damaged my child's future for her own gain and selfish needs. But we're all just supposed to forget about that now, right?
Real women do not behave this way. Only little girls who never grew up and are trapped in a womans body behave in such a horrible manner. And this lady took that out on a woman that she was a complete stranger to, and this brandis is now taking out on this Woman's child.
What’s even scarier about this brandis who is clearly so desperate to make herself look like a mother, the lady parades herself around in public by using my Son as a marketing prop for her business. This lady posts things publicly stating, ‘I’m so thankful to the woman who gave us our Son’. Again, this is very scary that a person will go to such great lengths to behave one way to the public eye, while behind the scenes, this person is calling me, my Sons’ real mother an ‘asshole’, and exhibiting extremely terrible and unhealthy behavior with no apology. Does this sound like a psychologically stable and healthy home for a helpless voiceless infant to be raised in? Absolutely not.
This brandis lady even went to the great lenghts to publicly go onto this fruadulent adoption worker Tara Lee’s business Facebook page, that states is a ‘pregnancy resource center’- and willingly write a review and condone what this woman is doing to people by LYING. While behind the scenes, I was completely used like a piece of trash, a ‘birthing mechanism’, this brandis lady then- with my Son in her home, decided to go to this public page, and give a shining recommendation to this fraudulent adoption worker Tara Lee, by stating the following: (See image below.
THIS IS EXTREMELY ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR- NO EXCUSES
This is wrong, this is extremely abusive and dangerous and unhealthy behavior. This is not the kind of person that should be allowed to adopt a child. No person in their right mind has the child's best interest first and fore-most when they are busy violating another human being while actively trying to cover it up and pretend like it didn't happen, all to repeat this histrionic behavior, as well as the child, then turns around an blatantly lies about it publicly with no empathy, or apology. Instead, this person turned around and continued to make herself, and this fraudulent adoption worker look like they were ‘squeaky clean’, and not completely using/violating myself and my Son.
When I began to question these people, after my Son was already in their home about this and other extremely questionable behaviors they had exhibited, and the fact that they lied to me about the environment that my Son was now in, these people got sour, cold and defensive even further than they already had been. These people began project onto me, in the effort of trying to make me feel guilty about the fact that they were trying to raise my Son, and I was bothering them with these questions. How dare I, right? How dare I ensure my Sons safety, and question the validity of people that lied to me to get my Son into their home. How dare I want the absolute best for my Son, and how dare I question the fact that I was blatantly lied to and manipulated all for another woman to ‘adopt a baby’.
PEOPLE TURNING A BLIND EYE TO ABUSIVE PEOPLE
The fact that this has been diminished repeatedly, and my Son’s life has began on a lie- the fact that these people think that it’s ‘okay’ to completely rip my Son and I apart by lying to me about their actual true intentions is absolutely sickening.
This is where I bring up the disorder of Narcissism and Sociopathy in a human being. Narcissistic abuse and Psychopathy are hidden forms of abuse that people tend to turn a blind eye to. I know the dangers and severity of being raised by persons that behave in this manner. When a person is constantly trying to keep another person off guard, confused, and gaslighted, something is extremely wrong there.
The dangers of having a helpless, voiceless child in a persons care and environment is extremely dangerous, because the child literally has no one to protect or speak up for them. The child is forming what they think is a bond with someone who is supposed to be their protector, when in all actuality, the person has adopted this child for themselves- NOT for the child.
Narcissistic abuse is also extremely dangerous because narcissists and sociopaths are very good at presenting a false self. They present themselves as upstanding members of society, when in all actuality, within the home, they are abusing the child emotionally, psychologically, and mentally. The adopted child is left scared and confused, already due to the severing and separation of their biology. In my Son’s case, these people have completely violated him as well as myself. The number one key and factor that this brandis lady has no business raising a child is the complete lack of empathy for this histrionic and patterned narcissistic behavior towards other human beings without apology. When a person feels they are entitled to ‘ownership’ of another human being, there is a real problem there, and people need to pay closer attention to what the actual situation is.
WHAT NARCISSISTS DO TO GET AHEAD [ They think their winning when the're always lost and empty inside ]
Narcissism is usually formed in a person’s childhood due to the trauma and mistreatment that they endured. In my Son and I’s specific case, and looking back, it was all about this otto and brandis and their ‘struggles’, and how badly I should have felt for the fact that they had to try for 6 years to have a baby. How this ended up translating into these people thinking that they were entitled to adopt and raise a child is very scary.
Like the fraudulent adoption worker Tara Lee, these adopters otto and brandis are not special in any way shape or form. Sadly, there are several people with narcissistic personality disorder, and psychopathy that tend to look as though they are healthy individuals on the outside. They are not. They are presenting their false self until they get what they want no matter what the expense to other human beings is. This is abuse in its purest form.
No matter what the excuses, lies, cover-ups, these people blatantly violated two human beings- point-blank. These people have used every excuse in the book to try to excuse their behaviors.
WHEN A NARCISSIST IS EXPOSED FOR THEIR ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR
When a narcissist is exposed for their abusive behavior, they go into a panic and into attack mode. I know this quite well being adopted and raised by psychologically sick people. No matter who they are affecting, it’s never about others, it’s always about them and what they can gain.
The further I questioned, the further this otto and brandis took it. Here are signs of absolutely dangerous behaviors- and the lenghts a narcissist/sociopath will go to to cover up their behaviors instead of taking accountability for the actions and problems that they have created:
The low and desperate lengths these adopters went to to cover up the truth-
EXTREME DENIAL IN NARCISSISTIC ADOPTERS AND THE EFFECT ON THE CHILD
These people knew that I wasn’t a danger to my child. These people knew that their behavior was terrible. A human being that has true empathy would never treat another person this way. A real woman who had the child's best interest would NEVER behave in such a fashion to a woman whose child she just adopted.
These adopters and this fraudulent adoption worker Tara Lee were well aware that I have a stable home for my Son, a stable career, etc- and there was absolutely no reason for me to not mother my Son. These people were also well aware of my fear of the dangers of the abusive people who adopted me that wouldn’t leave me alone. They were well aware of the abuse and trauma I dealt with at the hands of the people that adopted me. They mirrored my behaviors of being genuine human beings, and pulled a fast-track adoption to get a child within a 2 ½ week time-frame.
This is psychologically dangerous behavior that goes on in the adoption industry WAY more often than people realize. Little did I know at the time, within this 2 ½ weeks of meeting all of these people that claimed to be who they clearly are not, that they did not have my Son’s best interest at heart. That fraudulent adoption worker Tara Lee had her paycheck off of my Son’s adoption first and foremost for herself. That adopter brandis is baron, and was clearly desperate to get a child.
I later came to find out that this otto and brandis had an adoption set up with another (actual) adoption agency, and it fell through. This otto and brandis then turned around, and sued that adoption agency out of court and won a settlement just less than 2 months before they even met myself or my Son. I then later came to find an online baby registry that these people had put up to get gifts for a child that they had not adopted yet just one month before meeting myself and my Son.
This is very frightening behavior that is being masked, and my Son is now in a psychologically abusive household. These people have been very forward about stating that I am ‘accusing’ them of abusing my Child. When a person is telling the truth about someone’s past abusive behavior, and they continually cover it up like these abusive people did, that’s not an accusation. That’s just the clear, plain, point-blank truth.
MY SON IS MY SON AND HE IS MY MAIN PRIORITY
No matter what these people try to pull, hide, or cover up- I will be right there for my Son. There is literally nothing that these people can do to escape the truth. And the truth of the matter is that these people are not psychologically healthy, and they have proved it time and time again with their behavioral patterns. When someone is a narcissist/sociopath, this cannot be hidden. I know, I was adopted and raised by a malignant narcissist.
I am well versed and educated on what these abusive and unhealthy people are capable of, and what lengths they will go to to try to hide their abuse. What these people don’t understand is, my Son and I are a part of each other, and we always will be for the rest of our lives. No matter how hard they try to stretch the truth about what they’ve done, he will find out the truth. I know what it’s like to pretend like you have a bond and appreciation for an abusive person, when you really don’t. I know what it’s like to be the victim of severe psychological and emotional abuse at the hands of an adopter narcissist. A person this psychologically unhealthy cannot escape their condition. These people have no empathy, they do not have the ability to relate to other human beings from this standpoint. Due to their lack of emotion and empathy, the narcissist must emulate and pretend that they have these real emotions when they don’t.
When they bring a helpless, voiceless child into their home, the child suffers greatly in silence and isolation. This is how I lived for 3+ decades. I refuse to allow my Son to be raised this way, by psychologically unstable and dangerous people. My Son is now in the exact and direct situation that I was trying to keep him safe from, because a fraudulent, unlicensed adoption worker posed to be something that she is not. She is not a properly licensed professional.
THE DANGERS OF PRIVATE INFANT DOMESTIC ADOPTION
I now well know and realize why these adopters otto and brandis had to pay a below-the belt fraudulent adoption worker to get a baby. They are people that are desperate to fit into society. It’s just such a shame that they lack the realization and awareness that they neglected the child that they already have so that this baron woman could have a ‘child of her own’.
It saddens my heart that these people are clearly not happy or healthy within themselves, and do not have the tools to be mature enough to know that they had absolutely no business adopting a child. Instead, people like this slip through the cracks on a regular basis through the private domestic infant adoption trade. The real mothers who only want the absolute best for their children are left by the waste-side, while their child pays the ultimate price to appease to these selfish adopters wants.
The child is told that they were ‘saved’. They child is told by the adopters that they were ‘meant to be theirs’, and treated like a possession instead of being honored for the person that they actually are. Narcissists who adopt only adopt for one reason, to use the child as a way and means to appease their selfishness, and it is all at the expense of the child left traumatized, and isolated to have nowhere to turn.
WHY EXTENSIVE PSYCHOLOGICAL EVALUATIONS ARE A MUST TO ADOPT
The prerequisite and standards for someone to adopt a child are extremely low. There are no extensive psychological/emotional evaluations done on the potential adopter, and this needs to change. All child abuse is wrong. In no way is it ever okay to diminish what is happening to this helpless child. I am here to bring awareness to those who are
mentally/emotionally/psychologically abused at the hands of corrupted adoption workers trying to get their paycheck, and I am here to stand up and tell the truth, and fight for what’s right for the one that should always ALWAYS be put first. The child, NOT the selfish adopter in complete denial and desperation to fit into society. Psychological/emotional/mental abuse IS abuse. It’s an extremely frightening form of abuse because it can easily be hidden if people do not pay attention to the behavioral patterns of the narcissistic adopter.
THE DOCUMENTARY ‘PROUD OF WHO I AM’
I’ve gone through a lot in life. People wouldn’t know it from looking at me from the outside, because I blocked out the trauma and was walking around this earth like it never happened. Looking back on the people I was surrounded with, the lies I was told, the psychopathy of the adopter who was somehow allowed to raise me, the way I was treated like a complete joke, and object. I am SO very proud of who I am. I am one dammed strong person. I am a complete fighter and truth seeker for justice.
I wasn’t raised in a ‘better’ situation by any means. Only a more abusive, and different situation. I was lied to about how I came to be in these people’s home repeatedly. I found my real Mother. I found my birthright, and no one will take that away from me again. Having your boundaries constantly violated your whole life, going through the abuse, and being made afraid to say something about it is completely wrong. I’ve put my foot down, and I will no longer allow anyone to diminish, minimize, or tell me that my situation wasn’t abusive.
PEOPLE, STOP MAKING EXCUSES AND RE-TRAUMATIZING ABUSE VICTIMS
Due to only knowing one thing, being around abusive people, toxic people, and psychologically unhealthy people, I thought that this was normal. I was constantly getting myself involved in ‘relationships’ with abusive people who had one mission- to use other human beings.
If someone tells you that they went through an extremely bad situation, and they were traumatized, terrified, LISTEN TO THEM. Do NOT excuse away what they went through. DO NOT, I repeat do NOT ask the victim, “Why didn’t you ever tell us?” You have no idea what this person has gone through unless you’ve walked a mile in the shoes they were abused in. These people are complete warriors. If you do not understand the situation, and a person has stepped-it-up to speak to you about it, you honor and respect the fact that this person has decided to tell the truth, and no longer be a victim.
I stepped up and tried to speak to my extended adoptive ‘family’ about what happened to me, I tried to seek some proper support in them. This was a mistake, but it gave me closure on what I already knew. I was blamed further, told I was ‘overreacting’ as usual, and it was explained away, and I was told that I ‘should be thankful for what I had’. That is completely backwards. The people that adopted me had no business raising children.
NO I WILL NOT BE ‘THANKFUL FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO ME’
Those abusers should feel thankful that they were even allowed to adopt ME. Someone clearly made a mistake and they got away with it, and I payed the ultimate sacrifice for that. Those abusers chose to hold an obligation to the child they adopted, and they failed greatly. Putting dinner on the table every night, and doing all of the cosmetic things for the child all while isolating the child into silence is pure-flat-out-abuse. You DO NOT adopt a child unless you can see to your absolute and complete obligation to that child. The child you adopted had no choice in the matter, and shame on you for placing that obligation on the child to think and feel that it’s their responsibility for the abuse.
And no, adopters, you do not get a pass- you do not get a pat on the back for ‘saving a child’ merely because you adopted the child. You have a responsibility to step it up and do right by the child. You do not get to hide behind excuses like, “We didn’t know any better”, or “there’s no manual for parenting an adopted child”. Right is right, wrong is wrong, and abuse is blatantly abuse no matter what form it comes in. Parents may make mistakes, but you NEVER wrong the child and hide behind excuses for your horrible abusive behavior to that helpless child.
I was the youngest of 3 adopted children. We have all dealt with this in our different ways. I chose to tell the truth. I chose to talk about being called a ‘nigger’ while being chased around the house with a pair of scissors being told ‘you’d better not close your eyes to sleep at night’. I chose to speak up about the nickname I was given as the only ethnic child in an all white family of ‘little black sambo’. I will tell you right now, after the conditioning of feeling like I should be afraid to say anything, I WILL receive the pat on the back I deserve to step up and talk about what really happened to me.
I have always tried to seek out the truth amidst being called a liar for doing so. DO NOT, and I repeat do NOT re-traumatize an abuse victim in this way. Make yourself better by becoming aware of the abuse you were told about, and be a proper system of support. If you cannot handle this, then you need to leave the person that the abuse happened to alone, so that they have the opportunity to find real, loving and caring people to give them what they deserve…. VALIDATION for all they’ve endured. ACKNOWLEDGMENT for all they’ve endured.
EXPOSING THE TRUTH It takes many adoptees a lifetime to find out the actual truth about their lives before they were adopted. Not only this, but they also find out that there are half truths, stories have been skewed and worse, there is no information at all. Due to being lied to their whole lives, having things covered up, there is a conditioning of tending to be afraid of the truth. It's important to stay strong, and not allow the truth deter you from moving forward, and use it as a tool for the healing process.
REALIZING IT'S TOXIC One of the hardest things to come to terms with is realizing that your abuser is a toxic person. When you have been under the same conditioning and the same treatment for a long period of time, especially when it's a consistent influence in your environment, it tends to become the new 'regular'. A huge step in starting to be in the know is by stepping out of the situation to see it.