A FORMAL GOOD BY TO MY ADOPTIVE 'FAMILY'

So apparently it's just fine to 'let me give you a call' when I 'have problems'.  It's apparently okay for me to call these people when I'm in COMPLETE and absolute turmoil.  Because lest-we-forget, "they say they are there for me".  God-for-bid I'm in complete stress and absolute literal pain and trying to ensure my unborn child is okay.... As they have turned a blind-eye to all of these years, and never really seemed to care any-way, Suzie's 'over-reacting' and 'being too sensitive' again, right?

I was pregnant with my child... destitute, and afterwards, AFTER I had said, "I placed my Son for adoption", they were then there to hear the information.  WHERE WERE THEY when they KNEW that I was pregnant with my child, and needed help?  Why didn't any of these people aid and support me STEP UP ON THEIR OWN BEHALF TO SUPPORT AND PROTECT MY SON AND I- and console me to say, "we are your family, we have you".  WHY did NONE of these people that are my supposed 'family' reach out to me to help me and let me know that I had a support system, and that My Son would be okay as well?  

Instead, I had to fend for myself as-usual, and pretend like I have this 'amazing' family that apparently does 'so much' for me.  These people completely screwed up, and take absolutely no accountability for the fact that I literally had NO support system.  But they definitely like it when the story is told like, "My family is SO great!".  My options were, allow a complete sociopathic abusive (the literal person that abused me my whole life) 'mother', and co-dependent 'father' be allowed to be around my Son, or try to pretty much beg for help.  How screwed up and unhealthy is that?  

I just received aftermath calls, texts, and facebook messages from these people on the random trying to gain my personal information from me about the fact that I had placed my Son for adoption.  Did any of them listen to me, call me, make sure My Son and I were okay while I was pregnant and ensure MY SAFETY AND WELL BEING, MY SON'S WELL BEING WHILE I WAS PREGNANT WITH HIM?  Of course not.  Now lest-we-forget, this is supposed to be my 'family', right?  I literally/actually got a facebook message from one of my adoptive 'aunt's stating the following- Just didnt want to contact you wanted you to feel comfotable and at peace with things. 

​YEP!  So, instead of PAYING ATTENTION TO THE FACT THAT I AM AN ABUSE VICTIM AND FOLLOWING THE ABUSE PROTOCOL, she turned a fucking blind eye to everything going on with my over-compensation of stating that everything was 'great'.  Sad- just SO sad.  And this lady and I have had pretty solid conversations.  like, quite solid convo's to the point that I thought that she would've made it a point to reach out to me.  She didn't.  That woman is not my family, that woman is an acquaintance that I happened to have a couple of pretty solid convo's and happenstances with in the last 3+ decades.  HUGE difference between the two.  I'm supposed to call people like this my Family?  That doesn't make ANY sense at-all.  I have the same 'connection' and interactions with people in the literal SAME WAY when I'm at the store asking someone 'how was your day', 'hey, that weather we're having hugh?'.  And THIS is my 'family'?  You've GOT to be kidding me.  Like, in NO-WAY-SHAPE or form will people this unhealthy come into contact with me again.  They didn't give-a-shit enough to pay attention to the fact that I was being raised by a sociopath in the first place, they clearly excused themselves out-of the fact that the sociopath's adopted child is now an adult and now speaking the truth (WHERE THE FUCK WERE THEY?), whats the point again?  Why in the hell am I supposed to be exuding any further energy on people that clearly show NOTHING of care or empathy for me again?  

THE OTHER SIDE $

These people, this supposed 'family' I speak of are persons that I had no choice to be brought up in to.  I get it now... I was the literal TOKEN 'BLACK' baby for a 'loaded family' to look good in society.  'Brangelina' much?  I cut the narcissist 'mother' that adopted me's side of 'family' off years ago.  Once the matriarch of that side died, I knew for a fact that it was an end of an obligatory era.  There was literally no reason to communicate with people that were living in denial, and I had absolutely NO relation with. 

When that norma laenen died- I felt nothing.  Like, literally nothing.  Just a quick sense of-an immediate flash-back when her husband, my Grandfather, Remie Laenen (the lesser of horrible) passed away... and her treatment towards me at my Grandfathers funeral.  I still feel nothing, and I never will.  It's like that sort of thing when you forget to order something on the menu because you really don't care about it on the menu at a restaurant, but it's still on the menu, and every now-and-then, someone talks about "you should try the "", It was really good".  Ya, it's one of those.  

This person had 13 Grandchildren, treated 12 of them (all white) as equals, but made it a point to make sure that I was not one of them.  It was always, "You're hair looks ridiculous", "Your not college material", "Don't sing it that way, you sound like a black person when you sing it that way"- type of thing.  Turns out, in my later years, I've come to find out, this lady isn't special at all- I was just isolated by a 'good 'ol-boy'- type of grandmother in South-Eastern Michigan watching fox news with her and being brainwashed to take her emotional baggage as one of her 13 grandchildren...   Yep- seems sad, but this is why I don't mourn this person.

TO REPEAT MYSELF-

I now well know and realize that this was just an old lady that sat in her little sun-porch watching 'fox news' being brainwashed.  How said quite  honestly- AND... That's as much energy, and attention I will give this lady.  She's gone, I'm not sad about it, she has plenty of people aside from me to mourn her.  It's not my obligation any-longer to deal with it.

I can remember being about 11 years old, and this lady sitting back 'slyly' in her chair in her sunroom- with myself, and the other kid (Chris, the kid that was always 'better' some-how)  that was my age that I now realize is just some guy that doesn't give a shit and wares docksiders and lives in blatant denial.  The only feeling FOR ONCE was for myself and my own life.  I literally remember thinking, "Welp, that's done, I can close that book and open a new chapter."  I never liked or trusted that woman norma.  I don't think she was a bad person, because she must've been brought up with a terrible situation just like me....  However, that woman caused and created my own abusive world.  I just wouldn't trust or respect a person for acknowledging it (just like she did), and doing nothing about it, allowing it, watching it, and contributing to it- then turning around and enabling and condoning her 'one-and-only-baron-daughter-to adopt children and place extra abuse to the child on-top of what had already happened to that ethnic adopted child in the process.  LEST WE FORGET, the token ethnic adopted child was supposed to be 'thankful' for the fact that she was RAISED IN THAT ABUSIVE environment.    

"Here-we-go, the adoptive child's 'Over-reacting again'

The adoptive 'grandmother' that used to constantly talk to me about how they would 'fix me' and 'fix my hair'.  This woman that when I went to her to tell her at age 17 about how excited I was about graduating highschool and planning for college, she IMMEDIATELY said to me in a condescending tone, "Oh, Suzan- 'College isn't for everyone".  The woman that on a constant basis told me about how 'ridiculous' my hair was.  ​