June 1st 2019 was World Wide Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day!  If a loved one, or someone you care about finds the courage to open up t you about the abuse they have endured, whether you understand it or not... BELIEVE THEM, and HELP them. One of the main tools in an abusers tool-kit is 'Victim Isolation'. Abusers work aggressively to isolate their victims from any support system they have, that would empower them to seek help. The abuser does this by working to discredit their victims reputation, character, their livelihoods, careers.  The abuser often masks this abuse, bullying and harassment onto the victim by framing their abuse as 'concern' when recruiting other unsuspecting people to work against the victim and place the victim in further danger. The unsuspecting persons are usually not aware that they are placing further harm onto the victim, and think that they are 'helping' the victim, when indeed, if they are in direct communication with the abuser, they are doing the exact opposite.  The abuse does this in order to make others not believe the victim, and to falsify the victims character as 'non credible'.  This makes it terrifying for the victim to continue to reach out to try to seek aid for their own safety and welfare from law enforcement, or to seek and gain protection orders against the abuser that is harassing them.

It's important to know that any individual who tells another to stay away from them, and to cease contacting them, or anyone they are associated with, and the person told to stop continues to do so, this is a violation of another persons privacy, this is exploitation, and a direct violation of a persons fundamental human civil rights.  No one deserves to be stalked or harassed, and no one should allow another person to force themselves into someone elses life when they have been told to cease their abusive behavior.   It does not matter who the person is, abuse is abuse, stalking is stalking, harassment is harassment.  It is against the law, and it is criminal behavior. 

Trying to gain safety, and aid to preserve your own personal welfare as an overcoming victim of abuse can be hard.  This article explains the complexities behind this, and gives great insight about the behaviors of abusive people, and how you can work to get away from them, expose the truth, and gain safety.  CLICK HERE >>>>

One of the toughest realities to come to terms with for an overcoming victim of abuse, is- when family and friends, those the victim thought were their support system, never were.  More often than not, the people in the narcissistic abuse systematic make up, will side with, and comply to the narcissistic abusers behavior to 'save face'.  It's quite the shameful way to behave, and it's very disappointing, especially when it is people that you've known for extended periods of time, even your whole life- who when you finally speak out and tell the truth about what happened to you, dismiss what has happened to you.  It is also very important to know, that unhealthy people seek out vulnerable people in need.  Unfortunately, abusive people see overcoming victims who have experienced abuse and invalidation as easy targets.  If you seek out aid, and are further exploited and violated... DO NOT GIVE UP.  There ARE healthy, proper people out there that want to know the truth and end abuse in the right ways.  

The abuse enabling cycle I spoke of, happens quite often in family units.  There is a lot of shame that is placed over the abuse that has been exposed.  Unfortunately, not everyone is as strong as the overcoming abuse victim who found the courage to speak up and tell the truth.  Many family members, friends, and the like will side with the abuser to preserve the 'reputation' of the family reputation instead of doing the right thing, standing up and protecting the victim of the abuse.  Instead, they make the decision to enable and stay within the abusive cycle.  This is called denial.  I say to you now all over-coming victims of abuse.... this is not your shame to carry.  You are no longer in denial, no longer support shame, abuse, lies, or fallacies.  You support the honest truth, and the whole truth. 

Shame on anyone who behaves in this unhealthy manner.  When someone acuses a victim of lying, and places further manipulation onto the victim- this is what we call 'victim shaming'.  When a person does this, the microscope needs to be pointed directly at that unheatlhy person, NOT the victim.  If this happens to a victim, the victim needs to ensure that they stay away from this kind of person, because they will enable further abusive behavior, and distress onto the overcoming victim, and deter the overcoming victim from moving forward into the light and maintaining the truth. 

Just know, that when these abuser enablers show themselves to you, this is a blessing in disguise when this happens.  What this shows you is, THESE ARE NOT YOUR PEOPLE.  The harsh realization is, they were never your people.  What that does is, helps you get rid of anyone with this kind of unhealthy behavior, and points you in the closer direction to healthy, loving, honest and genuine people who will support and respect you and your boundaries.  This is an amazing thing!  As I've mentioned before, pay attention to those saying they will support you, but never follow through with actually doing so.  A person who genuinely supports you, would place immediate action in preserving your welfare if they learn that you have been harmed.  

​🧐:: It's time that we, as society become more aware of how harmful this is to the people that suffer in isolation every day from this form of abuse, harassment, stalking, and psychological warfare. It places victims in fear, danger, destroys careers, relationships, and objectifies people who are targets of this form of abuse. I know, I am an overcoming victim of narcissistic abuse, who after two years of stalking and harassment at the hands of my abusers after going public, and telling the TRUTH about what happened to me, losing everyone in my life who I thought were supposed to be my support system, is still here. Still standing tall. I was finally able to gain help to stop the stalking legally. However again, it took me 2 YEARS to escape the entrapment and isolation from the abusers who had me isolated for 30 + years. I used to be afraid of using the word #Abuse. Then I educated myself on what was happening to me, and sought out information from professionals to learn, that what I had endured was indeed ABUSE. I stand proud of myself, and I continue to have my voice heard!

​#narcissisticabuseawareness #learnwhatnarcissisticabuseis #abuse#stoptheabuse #stopthemadness #narcissist #womenarabuserstoo#hiddenabuse #narcissisticfemales #adoptionabuse #overcomingabuse#abuseawareness #abusesurvivors #staystrong #metoo #speakup#tellthetruth #thetruthmatters

A Woman named Tara Lee, of New Haven, #Michigan was posing and advertising herself to be a 'licensed pregnancy therapist & counselor' advertising that she was running a 'licensed pregnancy resource and education center'.  This is not the truth.  Lee is not licensed at all.  Tara Lee of #Michigan is an #adoption #predator.  She was literally conning people, both prospective adopters, as well as defrauding and manipulating vulnerable pregnant Women into placing their unborn child for adoption.  It is EXTREMELY dangerous for an #adoption #predator who is posing to be a therapist and counselor to be preying on, lying to, and pretending to be working in the vulnerable pregnant Mothers best interest, all to get the Mother's child and place the child for adoption to make a profit off of the child without the child's Mother having any knowledge of the fact that her child was sold for cash.  This is blatant #Adoption #Abuse and #Coercion. 

I know this because Myself and My Son are victims of Tara Lee.  There is a lot of media coverage about the people who paid Tara Lee money to adopt a child, and were frauded out of money by Lee.  What there isn't media coverage on, is the victims who have faced massive loss and devastation due to Tara Lee's crimes, predatory practices, and fraudulence.  I myself, and my Son are among these victims.  This trauma, this devastation is more than just a temporary wound of a crime that's been done to my Son and I.  
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Adoption Coercion, and taking away a Mother's right to make a proper informed decision is a VERY real, VERY predatory, and VERY abusive thing that happens more often than you realize.  It's important that the societal 'norm' becomes aware of what these abusive predatory adoption practices are, and begins to realize, and recognize when this form of abuse is being placed onto a vulnerable pregnant Woman.  If you see a woman who is surrounded in persons who have a vested interest, that being for the Woman to place her child for adoption- ask the pregnant Woman if she needs help, and HELP HER.  More often than not, vulnerable pregnant women in crisis without support systems are being targeted and used, abused, manipulated into thinking that the people that she is surrounded with are helping her, when in fact, the people she is surrounded with only have a vested interest in getting her child from her.  Once this happens, there is a lifetime of damage caused to the Woman and her child due to unnecessary separation, and unnecessary adoption, which equals, #predatory #adoption #abuse.  Please see the chart below for a solid understanding on perspective of how violating it is for a pregnant woman, in her most vulnerable state to be surrounded with those who have a vested interest in getting her child from her, with her being purposely mislead, lied to about what will actually happen for her and her child's future.  It is important to note, it's not even legal for a puppy to be adopted until it is 8 weeks old, so let's ask ourselves this question, why is it okay to surround a Mother and her child before the child is even born, when the Woman is extremely vulnerable and in NO condition to be making any decisions for her child in the manner of adoption under the guise and pressure of those trying to get her child from her and profit off of her child and herself without her knowledge of it?
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CLICK HERE TO READ AN ARTICLE WITH INFORMATION ON ADOPTION COERCION PRACTICES

There are some really great resources out there regarding 'Maternal Narcissism'. I was adopted and raised by a malignant narcissist female. I do not call this lady my mother, as in my mind, she’s just a barren/infertile narcissist who thought she was entitled to call herself a ‘mother’ because she flew under the radar and wasn’t psychologically screened properly and got away with being allowed to adopt a child. But that’s my story, and a story for another time…… One thing that really helped me was of course firstly, educating myself as much as possible on what narcissism is, the behavioral patterns of a narcissist, and learning the different types of narcissism. Things that I started to self actualize were this:
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• Most/the majority of narcissists run like clock-work. They are very ‘textbook’. Although all personal situations and journeys are going to have different details, one thing seems to always be prevalent, there are textbook narcissist abuser techniques that are used. Whether the narc knows this or not, they are text book, transparent, and NOT SPECIAL, they are just a narc like the rest of them.
• Women are abusers also, doesn’t matter the title of ‘Mother’ or not. As mentioned above, a narc is a narc is a narc, no matter what shape, size or form they come in. Narcissistic abuse is no joke. I personally believe that the majority of the societal ‘norm’ fundamentally believes that Women/Mothers naturally love their children always. This couldn’t be farther from the truth. In our cases, the narc abuser just happened to come in the shape and form of the ‘Mother’.
• There are MANY others like us who have suffered and endured. What I mean by this is, in your and my specific case…. One thing that seriously helped me big time was finally finding others that were like me, in this very specific demographic of being a ‘daughter of a narcissistic mother’. The more I came to realize this, and find my community of fellows that also suffered through what I did, it seriously lightened my grief and feelings of isolation. Not only that, but it validated and empowered me.

GOOD RESOURCES TO LOOK OUT FOR:

1. FACEBOOK GROUPS: A huge one for me was finding Facebook support groups specifically for daughters of narcissistic mothers. If you just shoot that term into the ‘ol Facebook search bar, you should be able to find some good groups. I tell ya, hearing these other members of the groups speaking their truths and experiences, I had an ‘AHA’ moment… as at times, I was like, “WOAH, that person just described exactly what happened to me!”. Not only this, but having a proper and safe space to vent among people that just flat-out ‘get it’ without your having to even explain yourself.
2. ONLINE ARTICLES: I assume since you’ve made it here to Quora, asking the question you did, you’ve probably already came across many articles on narcissism when googling it. One thing that I made sure to do was keep searching and searching the more you find out. The more specific your search terms become, the further information and validation you will find. For instance, in the beginning, I was just searching ‘emotional abuse’, then I would learn, then it turned into ‘ah, that persons a narcissist’, which turned into me searching terms like, ‘maternal narcissism’, and really thinking about things like, what causes maternal narcissism’, etc…..
3. CONNECTING AND NETWORKING: Just like here, connecting with your fellow survivors via social media is HUGE. Not only just in Facebook groups, etc. Many of us, now that we live in the days of technology and social media have come out with blogs and websites. I have done quite a bit of networking, and connecting with my fellow survivors. The more I have done this via the social media networks, the more solid my support system online has become. You end up really narrowing down a core group of people that have very specific shared experiences as you. Just having the piece of mind that your community backs you is HUGE….. Especially when you have to live with the fear of being shut down when your trying to speak out and tell the truth. Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, all of it. Get as connected as you possibly can and get your troops to back you up, because we’re pretty die hard on having our fellow survivors backs.
4. LEARNING ABOUT NARCISSIST FAMILY ROLES: I found it extremely eye opening to learn about what my role in the typical narcissistic family unit is. Learning and knowing the possible ‘characters’ in the narcissistic family are, and finding where you fit in in this is huge. For instance, I was always the scapegoat. I learned that my adoptive ‘Father is the co-dependent spouse of a narcissist’. Learning that about him was HUGE, because I used to think he was the ‘good one’. Now, learning about co-dependent spouses of narcs has made me realize that he was just as abusive as the narc for not protecting me from it. So putting a descriptor on that, and having it more clear to me seriously helped me make that gray area of feeling ‘sad for poor ‘ol dad’ turn into, “wow, what a sad person without a back bone, he CHOSE not to protect his children”.

IN CONCLUSION
I just want to tell you this now. When speaking earlier about how strong our community of being children of narcissistic mothers is, I want you to know that I’m here for you full-on 110%. There’s literally nothing that you could say or do to turn me away from supporting you as you are a full-blown member of our community.
Please know, (and it’s quite possible you’ve had to face this wrath)- there is a TON of victim shaming and blaming going on, as when you do speak up and speak out about things, there are tons of people out there who will immediately try to attack you, accuse you of lying, etc. No matter what, just remember this- YOU ARE RIGHT. YOU ARE THE EXPERT, YOU LIVED IT. And anyone who victim shames you, is not worth your time. EVER, point-blank no excuses. As these people will show themselves to you and make you realize that they are not your proper and solid support system.  Aunt, Uncle, Grandmother, Apparent Friend- if anyone is aiding the abuser and damaging your efforts to move forward without understanding what happened to you, they are not your people.  They are not your tribe and it's important to keep yourself protected and away from any person that condones or enables toxic and abusive behavior.

I am a classically trained musician, classical piano instructor, have owned and successfully ran my business for 9 years regardless of the curve-balls thrown at me.  I've lived with a modest, but comfortable income.  I volunteer and contribute to my community regularly and always have.  It's ingrained in my core being to contribute to the greater cause and help my fellows in society.   From my Maternal instinct, I know whole-hardheartedly that this is ingrained in my Son August as well.  I am a philanthropist through volunteerism.  I am an educator.  I believe that children really are the future, and I put everything I can into educating young minds.  I volunteer in a kitchen and give food out to the homeless twice a week in Downtown Detroit, Michigan.  I volunteer as an advocate for sexual violence victims.  I teach an inner city music theory program to children & families who do not have the monitary resources to gain a proper musical education.  I am no drug addict, no street runner, that's for sure.......  

This picture of me was taken a year ago today on June 4th 2017.  I gave birth to my Son just 5 days later. On June 9th, 2017, my beautiful Son August (Auggie) was born.  What a memory looking back. This wasn't the usual, 'Instructor Pleva's performing at her usual 'hoity toity' gigs.  It wasn't just a usual 'gig' for me.  It was a performance for a baby shower ironically.  That was a first for me, as I usually wouldn't accept a performance invitation like this.  My usual performances, 'gig's if I choose to take them on are usually gallery openings, exhibits, cocktail parties, etc.....  As you can see, I was a smaller pregnant woman, so no one at my performance was aware....  Well, until....  I spent my time that afternoon at another Woman’s celebration for her child coming into this world, ensuring everyone else aside from myself was okay as usual, thinking about how tragic it was that I wasn’t able to celebrate myself and my own child’s coming into this world the way I should be. All-the-while, I played ‘Suzie Sunshine’ as usual and slapped that smile on my face........

As usual, once I finished my performance, walked through the French Tudor doors for the host to introduce me for the applause. As she stated, “We applaud and thank Instructor Pleva for that beautiful performance”.... and everyone clapped as I made my bow.  As I turned to walk away, my pregnant belly showed. The crowd of about 90 people made a conjoined noise of shock and aw.... the host then said, AND! BABY PLEVA WOW!  The applause then commenced louder. That was the most celebration myself and my Son ever received for his getting ready to come into this world.  Today has been a rough day. This whole week is going to be, as my Son is not with me, in my arms where he belongs.  My Son was fraudulently adopted by narcissists under the false guise of a fraudulent adoption worker posing to be a 'licensed pregnancy therapist' - coercing and targeting me at 8 1/2 months pregnant.  All the cards were stacked against my Son and I, and I was completely oblivious, and unaware.  I assure anyone who is reading this, I am a very intellectual Woman; a fact-checker if you will.  What I could not find regardless of how thoroughly I tried?  Information on fraudulent adoptions.  And now here we are..... My Son and I are separated from each other, the abusive legacy of adoption corruption has repeated itself. 

​As mentioned, I was adopted by an infertile narcissistic abuser, and have lived my life in complete turmoil due to constantly dealing with the 'mommy dearest' female abuser that adopted me.  I didn't have a choice in the matter.  I was taken from my real Mother, and placed into the hands of a narcissistic abuser.  All always looked great to the outside world, as I played my part of 'Suzie Sunshine' as-if the abuse wasn't constantly happening in order to survive what I had to.  That was my way of life for 3 decades.  After 30+ years of dealing with the narcissistic abuser adopter and her compliant husband's constant and severe gas-lighting, psychological abuse, psychopathy; my Maternal instincts to keep my Son protected and away from these people kicked in.  Trying to get away from and escape the trappings of a narcissistic abuser is like trying to escape Scientology, the constant harassment, abuse by proxy, smear campaigns, stalking is VERY aggressive.  Try to imagine being an 8 1/2 month vulnerable pregnant Woman trying to handle all of the stalking and harassment, shaming and blaming for finally telling the truth about the abuse in your own life, while doing all you can to keep your unborn child's safety in-tact while you have absolutely NO support.  NONE.  This is what I was dealing with on a constant basis.  

In order to keep myself and my Son safe while pregnant, I cut off the narcissist abuser that adopted me, and told her and her co-dependent husband they were no longer allowed to be around me. They wouldn’t take NO for an answer, and continued to help themselves to me like I was a piece of meat/stalk and harass me.  To the outside world, 'societal norm', all would've looked 'just fine'.  As 'Suzie Sunshine' was 'just fine' wearing that smile on her face, and looking like all-was-well'. 'Suzie Sunshine' wasn't doing fine.  I was literally terrified for my Son. I had absolutely literally NO ONE to support me or help me. I consistently and continually reached out for aid/support , and was told I was 'over reacting' and I was dismissed.  I was introduced to a woman who posed herself to be a ‘licensed pregnancy therapist’. This woman is not licensed nor a therapist, she is a glorified baby broker who had me convinced that the only way to keep my unborn Son safe and away from my adopter abusers was to place him for adoption. This woman is now under official investigation with the Attorney General of Michigan due to what happened. 

Poof 💨. Just like that- within a 2 1/2 week time frame, my Son was gone. I was love bombed, I had been surrounded, these people had my baby, and I was discarded like a piece of trash 'birthing mechanism'. The people got what they wanted... My child.  My child was treated like an object.  And these people conned me into providing them with what they wanted to use to fill their unhealthy void.  When I started asking questions about what happened, and the legitimacy of the whole thing, and expressed my terror for my Sons safety, the gaslighting and harassment began.  It’s been a year of this. 

The female that adopted my Son is now busy playing 'fairy tales and rainbows' like she now has 'her' baby and that little false story had a happy ending.  This couldn’t be farther from the truth.   My Son's life has JUST started.  And because of these people, his life started on a lie.  This lady is now apparently writing a book about ‘HER’ adoption and infertility journey. That’s right, you heard that right. As if a person couldn’t use and abuse two other human beings (My Son and I) enough, this narcissistic abuser has taken it even further, this lady now plans to profit off of further exploiting myself and my Son and our tragedy by 'writing a book about it'. ​

Dear general public- if you would like to know what adoption is really like, and actually want to know the truth and reality... ASK THE EXPERTS.  Ask the person who was adopted.  Do NOT ask the person that adopted a child.  No matter how 'good' a person may seem if they adopted a child, no matter how 'good' their intentions are, they will never actually know the realities of what a life of being adopted is like.  Adoption was created to ensure that children that actually needed homes had them.  My Son in no-way-shape or form is a 'saved child', nor is he a child in need of a home.  He already has a stable, proper, loving Mother.  My Son August's Mother was coerced into fraudulent adoption under constant duress, and extreme pressure. 

Now let me make this clear.  There are good adoption stories.  There are good people in this world who adopt for the right reasons.  And to those people who are actually adopting for the proper fundamental reason of providing a child with a home when the child needs it, I say thank you.  However there are people who adopt children for their own wants and gain.  Let's get this straight, THIS IS ABUSE.  It is never okay to use another person(s) in order to fulfill a downfall or fault in your own life.  This is blatantly unethical and wrong.  

More often than I'd like to realize, the societal norm looks at people who adopt in a very blanketed and blind way.  "Aw, you adopted a child?  Your so great!".  This couldn't be farther from the truth.  It's important that society gets privy on all that adoption-land really is, and starts to look closer.  It can save future lives from having to deal with a life-time of abuse.  I state again, if you are unaware of what adoption is like, what people experience... DO NOT look to a person who adopted a child.  Look to the person that was adopted.  

It's EXTREMELY important that society is actually speaking with, asking questions about experiences, having healthy curiosity and looking to the expert- the 'ADOPTEE'.  As when you are an 'Adoptee', you are programmed to keep your head down, and consistently taught (generally) that you survive in life based on performance mode, as opposed to actually being able to live your life for yourself.  The 'Adoptee' was adopted; more times than not, to serve a purpose for other people's agenda's, and this can carry on for their life-spans unless others are aware of what has actually happened to them.  

Please everyone, keep Myself and my Son August in your hearts and minds this week. A Mother’s heart is broken as her Son was taken from her under false pretenses. It’s important that the societal norm is aware of how dangerous, life damaging, and tragic narcissistic abuse is- ESPECIALLY in adoption. This abuse may not be tangible, or easy to see, however- the effects on the victims are extremely obvious and telling.  Direct cause and effect.

Take it from me, an expert- THE ADOPTEE; If someone has suffered narcissistic abuse, especially in adoption, and musters up the courage to talk about it, reaches out for aid and support.... BELIEVE THEM. HELP THEM. Do NOT further make their situation worse.  If it makes you uncomfortable to hear what they are saying?  Turn in the other direction.  Do not waste the persons time.  ​

When I was pregnant with my Son, I used to take him to the Detroit Symphony Orchestra.  It was one of our regular things to do.  As strange as it may sound that I say I was 'taking my Son' to the orchestra, as I was pregnant with him.... My Son August was not only with me everywhere I went because I was pregnant with him, he was already destined to be here in this world.  When I say I used to 'take my Son to the orchestra', It wasn't just me sitting there in the seat taking the beautiful music in, it was my Son and I.  

Guest author, Denise Miller speaks regarding narcissistic abuse in adoption.  There are things that need to be clarified regarding hidden abuse.  Denise helps us identify the behaviors of narcissistic, abusive people.  

Narcissists are people who use and manipulate others for personal gain, and feel little to no remorse for harm done. They operate on the belief that they are superior and are entitled to what belongs to others.  Flying monkeys are the people narcissists train up to be loyal to them and have bought into their twist on the truth (lies), specially tailored to suit their desires.  They assist the narcissist in perpetuating their selfish agenda by helping the narcissist abuse their scapegoats (those the narcissist takes advantage of), and also help mitigate their consequences. They keep the narc's toxic secrets.

Flying monkeys are loyal to the narcissist, won through years of hoovering. Hoovering is special attention and praise heaped upon the golden child (their favorite) and the flying monkeys that make them feel "special" and "superior" to the scapegoats.  Flying monkeys don't care if the narcissist is right or wrong, has done good, or evil. Their goal is to protect and assist the narcissist in their selfish agenda and keep their secrets.  They help the narcissist abuse their victims, and so are equally toxic.

Flying monkeys and their golden child are brainwashed and conditioned with "treats", special attention, gifts, and honors doled out by the narc when they are being " good", that is, playing along with the narc.  I don't know about any of you, but if you have ever dealt with or been taken by a narcissist, you learn their ways and see through it.

​As for myself, my loyalty always lies with the truth of what is right, and what is wrong. I will not protect or enable abuse no matter how much I love the person abusing, nor will I cover for them.  I will confront and correct them to protect those they abuse.  Beware, if you confront a narcissist, you will see what we call an episode of narcissistic rage. Their mask falls off and they go in to kill mode, to try and eliminate the threat to their narcissistic agenda. They'll unleash their flying monkeys on you.

SO HERE'S MY STORY IN A NUTSHELL
As I am sure many adopted people are aware, living your life being treated like you are a piece of meat becomes tiring.  Especially when you have the responsibility to pretend like your not being treated like a piece of meat and your 'so exited and thankful' for it.  When people force their own judgment on you, about what they think you are, and who you are as a person, you finally get fed up and say, ENOUGH.  It is never okay to treat another human being as though they are your property.  It is never okay to form your own entitled judgment about another person's character, when you have no understanding of who the person actually is.  

I've lived my whole life feeling like I was banging my head against a wall, constantly saying, "That's literally the complete opposite of my character, and who I really am as a person!".  Who's the expert on knowing who I am as a person?  ME.  I am.  I know myself to the core.  The people that adopted me constantly treated me like I was their property.  The massive control issues were suffocating.  It never mattered what I said, how I felt, what I did, if I was wronged or treated improperly/inappropriately- it was ALWAYS disregarded, dismissed and these people just helped themselves to violating my boundaries, and exploiting my privacy.  I knew at age 11 that I was going to have to fend for myself, and I had a job to do- my job was to 'play pretend' to survive.  

Narcissists run like clock work when it comes to their 'relationships'. Due to the fact that narcissists are desperate to ‘fit in’ and look good to society, they are desperate to emulate what normal people have, proper relationships, empathy, real feelings, and caring for others.  
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Narcissists are empty inside, and they are well aware of this, making them eternally desperate to try to emulate the feeling of empathy. Unfortunately for the narcissist, they do not have the ability to have real feelings and empathy. Because of this, the Narcissists constant efforts to try to appear like they hold this quality destroys anyone that they use to make themselves appear this way in the process.  The narcissist will use anyone that they have to to get what they want, and this is called 'Narcissistic Supply'.  

I feel terrible for teenagers/kids that have to go through life with a narcissistic mother.
I myself was raised by a malignant severe narcissistic mother. It was hell. I am now 33, and just learned that this was what happened to me. Now in therapy for it, I have so many memories that have came back that were extremely traumatizing from when I was a teenager. Things never really added up, and I became extremely isolating.

​If I would have known then what I know now, just the knowledge of it alone would have been amazing to have. The problem with being raised by a narcissistic mother, and being a teenager-