BEING A TEENAGER WITH A NARCISSIST ADOPTIVE PARENT

I feel terrible for teenagers/kids that have to go through life with a narcissistic mother.
I myself was raised by a malignant severe narcissistic mother. It was hell. I am now 33, and just learned that this was what happened to me. Now in therapy for it, I have so many memories that have came back that were extremely traumatizing from when I was a teenager. Things never really added up, and I became extremely isolating.

​If I would have known then what I know now, just the knowledge of it alone would have been amazing to have. The problem with being raised by a narcissistic mother, and being a teenager-

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• The narc has the upper hand because they are the parent
• The narc holds the power, and is very well aware that the teenager has to rely on them for basic life needs. The narc will use this to abuse and manipulate the teenager.
• The narc will isolate the teenager, will not have consistent rules for the teenager, therefor always keeping them on edge, and in the dark as to when the narc will flip out, or do something crazy to the teenager.
• The narc knows that they are able to use the excuse of “Your are a horrible child”, “Do you know how difficult it is to deal with you?”. When in all actuality, it’s the narc causing all of the problems.
• The teenager is still in their developmental stage in life. In the teenage years is when the teenager is supposed to be finding their true selves, and becoming independent of the parent. The narc will stop at nothing to make sure that this growth is stunted.
• The narc mother will exploit the teenagers accomplishments, privacy, and push the teenager down for things that should never be undermined.

WHEN I RAN AWAY TO ESCAPE
When I was 15, I ran away because things got so bad. The week before I ran away, my narc
mother was flying into her narc rages much more than usual to the point that it was happening 2–3 times a day. To the point that I would be afraid to come home from school. My mother was encouraging violence, and encouraging my sister to be extremely violent and abusive with me. My narc mother would follow me around the house, literally being two feet behind me micromanaging every move I would make. She didn’t allow me to lock doors, would consistently walk in on me while going to the bathroom, or in the shower, or while I was changing. If I said ANYTHING about it, she would ground me. When I would ask for how long, she would say it’s not up to me for how long, and she would monitor my behavior until she thinks I am ‘doing better’ or not disrespecting her any more.
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All-in-all, the best thing for a teenager with a narcissistic mother to do is keep themselves as educated as possible about narcissism. Document as much as they can about the narc mothers behavior, and SPEAK UP. Tell trusted friends, or a counselor. If the narc mother takes you, the teen to a counselor and refuses to let you be alone with the therapist, try to have the courage to speak up and ask if your mother is a narcissist. Talk to a school counselor, talk to them about the research you’ve done about narcissism. Bring them articles and lists about how narcissists behave and give them examples of what your narc mother has done to you.