One of the hardest things to come to terms with is realizing that your abuser is a toxic person. When you have been under the same conditioning and the same treatment for a long period of time, especially when it's a consistent influence in your environment, it tends to become the new 'regular'. A huge step in starting to be in the know is by stepping out of the situation to see it.
DEALING WITH TRAUMA
Getting real, adoption is loss, adoption is trauma. Adoptee's tend to come to realizing what actually happened to them in their adult years. This tends to trigger large amounts of trauma in a person when they have this heavy dose of reality placed on them. It's important that Adoptee's speak out about their experiences, speak to one another, and seek out a solid support system to ensure that they properly work to heal from the trauma they suffer wish all they've been through.
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The term 'Gaslight' comes from a movie that came out in 1944, called 'Gaslight'. This movie entailed all that is the very epitome of crazy-making. Gaslighting is when a person makes another person feel 'crazy', and tries to alter the actual reality into something that is not to keep the other person off balance and feel unsettled and uneasy in the intention to hold over control.
EXPOSING THE TRUTH
It takes many adoptees a lifetime to find out the actual truth about their lives before they were adopted. Not only this, but they also find out that there are half truths, stories have been skewed and worse, there is no information at all. Due to being lied to their whole lives, having things covered up, there is a conditioning of tending to be afraid of the truth. It's important to stay strong, and not allow the truth deter you from moving forward, and use it as a tool for the healing process.
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Abuse comes in many different shapes and forms. Regardless of the form it's come in and reeked havoc on you in, it is still abuse and it needs to be recognized and validated. The first step to knowing how to bring that abuse to the light is by doing your research and educating yourself as much as you can about what has happened to you and how to stop it.
NARCISSISTIC ADOPTERS
The adoption industry runs rampid with narcissists trying to adopt, narcissists adopting, and narcissists flipping children for cash. This is something that isn't ever brought to light. Narcissism is an extremely severe personality disorder. This disorder in people is a direct and immediate warning sign that if a child is in their care, the child will be psychologically, emotionally and narcissistically abused. Narcissists shouldn't be allowed to adopt children.
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